The year end list

Another year winds down, and again I sit wondering where all the time went. People usually do a self analysis on their birthday, counting the things they have done, and regretting time lost. For me, it is always at the end of the year when I reminisce most. Before I make new plans, let me take stock. And what better way to do that than make a list. I actually made 2.

A. The 4 things that I wasted most time on
B. The 4 things that really inspired me

Four things I wasted time on (and what I believe the world did too)
1. Star Struck
I spent hours, reading about all the different famous people. Useless crap, but every morning, the previous day's gossip always accompanied me through my morning ablutions. Here are a few outstanding standouts...

Mallika Sherawat at the Cannes - So she likes to flaunt. So she can afford to. So she is a small town girl living her skyscraper dreams. Let her be. I have seen enough.

Fardeen Khan's wedding menu - So he got married. So he broke a lot of teenage hearts. So he can't act. But did I really need to know what guests ate at his wedding?

Sourav Ganguly - So he's lost his touch. So he wants to live on. So the Bengalis care. So the politicians butt in. So it's all the country can talk about. Team India, Bat on!

Khusboo - So she spoke out. So she believes in her freedom. So she hurt Tamil hypocritical, conservative sentiments. So she doesn't deserve her temple. She only spoke the truth.

Sania Mirza - So she made India proud. So she's got an attitude. So she needs to grow up. So she supports sex before marriage. So Times of India likes her belly button. So they want her to cover up. Sania, it's time you won a Grand Slam!

Bush and Cheney's ipod - So they like music. So they listen to songs. So they are fashion conscious. So they are human. Do we really need to know what Bush listens to and how Cheney charges his ipod?

2. Iraq, Saddam and the damned war against terrorism
Pages and pages each day, report the small advances the US Army makes, the deaths that the insurgency causes, the search for Laden, the captured President's trial...Oh what a waste of time! I can't even say "Bush, mind your own business", 'cause, he is. OIL!

3. Amitabh Bachan
Ya, he is a star. He should belong to point 1. But he is also so much more. Right now, he is Mr. India. With his every step, India shakes. With every breath, India gasps. With every word, India listens. I might be the only one, and this might be the most courageous thing I have ever said, but here goes. Retire Mr. Bachan, Retire!.

4. Mistakes on Times of India
Supposedly, India's most read paper. Supposedly, they get big stars, famous people to be guest editors. Supposedly, they know India like no one does. Yet, I spend hours correcting the mistakes on their front page. Are they so busy collecting news, that they forget to correct their pieces? Spell check, TOI! It's as easy as ABC.

Four things that inspired me
1. Rockstar INXS.
I admit, I am hooked on reality TV. Not all, but certainly some. This one does it for me. It might be edited, It might be dramatized. But seeing a bunch of really nice people singing their hearts out, really is inspiring. The Apprentice is good too, but I can easily tell the difference between competing for money and competing for a chance to sing on stage. There is just so much soul.

2. Tourism in India
I had the opportunity to travel through North India. Everywhere we went we saw foreigners. In some places we were the only Indians. Yes, the prices are all hiked, and the really good tourist spots, hotels only cater to these outsiders, but it is great to see India on the World map. It is a beautiful country and I am glad the tourism ministry is doing something right. Himachal, Rishikesh, Tamil Nadu, Goa, Kerala, these places are really bringing in the crowds.

3. Google, Microsoft and Apple.
Each doing their best. Boy. Geek. Innovation. Genius. Electronics. Gadgets. Toys. Need I say more?

4. Survival
Tsunami, Katrina, Rita, Lahore, Earthquake, Rain, Bombay, Water, Fire, Wind and Earth. There was no captain Planet, but the people survived. They walked on, hope burning bright. Every survival story, truly inspirational.

Through all this, through routine life, I got married. Six months. Six months too fast. The stars and celebrities might all break up, divorce, search for new love, and when they believe they have it, they repeat the cycle all over. And unlike VIPs, I have found my one true love. I have found my inner peace. This is it. Forever.
Next year I have someone to share all my time with.

Rape - whose fault is it? - An analytical study

Fights of any kind has a winner and a loser. One gloats at the end and the other walks away a little less confidently. Last week I found out that there is a fight that can never have a clear winner, as neither contestant will ever give in. An "over-possessive" father (as claimed by the other contestant) and a teenage feminist daughter (as claimed by the father).

The catalytic incident.
Prathiba, a call-center employee at Hewlett Packard (HP) receives a call from accused cab driver Shiva at about 12.40 am on Dec 13. She leaves home with him at 1 am in a Tata Sumo; a few minutes later Jagadeesh, the regular driver on her route, calls. She says she is on her way to office. She makes futile attempts to call her husband before being raped at about 2 am. Shiva snatches her phone and removes the sim card. She tries to raise an alarm, he panics and slits her throat. Police trace the body on the night of Dec 15. Read more here...

The argument started as a discussion of the above incident, but soon progressed into this...

The Father's opening statement:
Women, these days, invite trouble by wearing skimpy and revealing clothes.

The now seething daughter's opening statement:
Rubbish. All men are degenerates.

I watched the ball roll from person to person, a father's worry, a daughter's independence. It's the girl's fault, it's the man's fault. Girls can wear what they want, men should control themselves. Men will be men, girls shouldn't entice them. the arguments unending, each right in their own way. It's an old argument, one that's existed from the first rape and one that's not about to end anytime soon. I am no VIP, my thoughts and statements are not influential, but here are my two cents.

Fact 1: The primary purpose of life is to live and protect life itself.
Fact 2: Life is a risk. The rate of survival is directly related to our actions and the events surrounding us. 90% of events result from our actions and 10% result from actions beyond our circle of control.
Fact 3: Girl's will wear what they want. Restrictions on their decisions are a breach of their basic right.
Fact 4: Men will be men. They will have their urges. - Girls should realize here that this is not a fault yet. Thinking, imagining, looking. An urge is an EMOTION and it is not a crime.
Fact 5: Almost all men are turned on by women.
Fact 6: The degree of and reason for turn on is dependent on individuals. It is fair to assume that more men are turned on by women in sexy clothes than by women in tracks and a sweatshirt two sizes too big. Girls should realize this is still not a crime.
Fact 7: Some men will act on their urges. This is where the problem arises. This is the CRIME. Having an urge is vastly different from acting on it. One is an inherited reflex the other is conditioned.
Corollary from Fact 4 and Fact 7: Girls will be raped.
Fact 8: If a girl is raped, it is NEVER the girl's fault, no matter what she did, spoke or wore. The man is to bear the COMPLETE blame.

But wait, let's draw a diagram.


















From the diagram above, it is the intersection of Area 1 and Area 2 that causes a problem and that is the area of risk.

Using Fact 1 and Fact 2, we arrive at an objective function.
MINIMIZE risk of harm and death to women.

Being human we have a few constraints.
1. Men must be turned on. This is the basic assumption of procreation. Blue circle can't be NULL.
2. Women will look for men. Another basic assumption of procreation. Pink circle can't be NULL.

Non - negativity conditions.
1. Men and women must exist. We can't have a world with just one.

Now that we have defined the problem, let's find a solution.
It is obvious that eliminating Area 1 is a perfect solution. It is also obvious that eliminating Area 2 is also a perfect solution. Unfortunately, neither is possible. We can't eliminate, only minimize and both must be minimized in parallel.

We can minimize Area 1 by...
1. Education. - conduct workshops, teach men to respect women and their rights, teach them to realize that their actions have severe consequences.
2. Assign Blame. - the blame is not to be split. It is the Man's fault if a girl is raped.
3. Instill Fear - punish those who violate the law, and act on their urges without consent, with severity. Hang them. The law takes years to convict and punish. Hasten the process. Practice due diligence, conduct the investigation, but once guilt is established, dispel justice immediately.

Girl's should however realize that the above is not enough. It is their life at risk, and it is thus their duty to ensure survival. Thus they should in parallel, act responsibly.
Minimize Area 2, do not wear skimpy clothes and go to places that harbor trouble. Be your own judge, but be wise. My mother raised a point about women who are lewd and do set a bad example for all women. These women are only increasing the risk for every girl. Stay away. Feel comfortable and confident but make sure you do nothing that you will regret.

At the end, it is a simple equation of balancing risk. While the law is constantly striving to reduce Area 1, and make it safe, women must make it their priority too. If Area 1 increases, Area 2 should decrease, if Area 1 decreases, Area 2 can afford to be increased.

Choice of clothes is every girl's prerogative, similarly, worry, is every fathers.

Ego Day

A few weeks ago, I met someone who was very happy to proclaim, loudly I must add, that she shared a birthday with Aishwarya Rai. If you don't know who that is, never mind, you probably already have everything you need in your life. I wasn't sure what she so happy about, maybe she hoped that she would in a few years magically look like Aishu (Ya, that's my pet name for her), or dare I say, maybe even become as popular. But she was happy, and she was proud.

Today I chanced upon another feature in Wikipedia, the growing online encyclopedia. If you type any day into its search field, you will see a page that lists events, births, deaths, and occasions that occurred or occurs on that day. I scrolled down the list.

The 1924 Summer Olympics open in Paris, France. Yippee.
1932 - In Atlanta, Georgia, mobster Al Capone begins serving an eleven-year prison sentence for tax evasion. - This can't be good.
Ernest Hemingway is awarded the Pulitzer Prize for The Old Man and the Sea. - Hey, he is a VIP, maybe I will the Pulitzer too.
Born 1825 - Thomas Henry Huxley, English scientist
Born 1826 - Frederic Edwin Church, American painter
Born 1903 - Luther Adler, American stage actor
A scientist, painter and actor. I still have hopes.
Tipu Sultan, Indian military leader died on this day in 1799. Maybe I will be as brave.

Ok, I admit none of the above is actually interesting. But here comes the part where I will now prove that there are forces in play that we have no control over.

In 1494, Christopher Columbus landed in Jamaica. I am part Jamaican. Jamerdian actually. I am part of the rare community that was born in India, lived in or went to school in Jamaica, attended university in America and settled back in India. I was in Jamaica between 1989 and 1994. If Columbus had not found Jamaica that day, who knows maybe it never would have been found.

1927, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was founded. I am a big movie fan. I can watch all movies and I spend hours after analyzing the intricate details of it. I love IMDB.com. If the Academy was not founded on that day, who knows, there might never have been so many movies for me to watch.

1945 - Narasinham Ram, Indian journalist, the Editor of The Hindu newspaper was born. His daughter Vidya Ram was my classmate in 9th and 10th grade. She was the first famous daughter I knew. She told us stories of her palatial house with a million cats and I got to spend quality time with a VIP. Who knows, maybe if he wasn't born that day, Vidya might not have been born and I might have never had this dream of being a VIP.

1929 - Audrey Hepburn, Belgian actress, was born. Now if you visit www.karthik.info and read the Quick Facts about me, you will note how my favorite actress in Audrey Hepburn. I haven't watched all her movies, but I will. She is one of the most influencing forces in my movie craze. Who knows, maybe if she wasn't born on May 4th, I wouldn't be her fan, and my movie interest would have been less. Imagine that! And she won an Oscar which is given by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Yup. The links are all there.

And finally, at the bottom of the wikipedia page, it says that May 4th is also Star Wars Day. May the Fourth (be with you). A great pun, but again if you see the Quick Facts, you will note that Star Wars is by far my favorite movie. I sometimes even believe I am a Jedi.

So many connections to my life, so many influences, and all happened on May 4th, the day I was born. Star power? I would definitely say so.

I hope I get positively influenced and get to be a VIP like these people, and not turn out like Lance Bass, who was also born on that day. If you don't know who he is, great, you are better off that way.

May the Fourth be with you!