KANK STANK !

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (KANK) - Review

This is possibly the most advertised and well promoted movie in a long time. It has more stars than can be seen on most nights from Gurgaon. It is supposedly the most expensive Indian film made with a budget of over 70 Crore (~ USD 15 million) most of which might have gone towards paying the stars. The songs have been repeated tiresomely on the TV music channels and the radio channels. It has been one of the most awaited for movies in a long time, with advance bookings opening on Wednesday for the Friday show. We were among those who managed to get tickets for this weekend. So how was it?

Awful.

The story.
Dev Saran, a football champion, breaks his leg in an accident and becomes a good-for-nothing, while his wife Rhea is a successful magazine editor. Insecurities abound and he is always in a bad mood. Rishi Talwar is a suave party planner, while his wife Maya is a teacher who can't have kids. More insecurity abounds, and she is always sad.

The movie was supposed to be about relationships. It was supposed to offer insights into dealing with the situation of finding your soul mate after you are married. If it had stuck to this plot it would have been a good movie. I am no expert at relationships, but in this case I can confidently say I have more insight than Karan Johar or any of the cast and crew of this movie. Karan's first mistake was to showcase the two couples as struggling in marriage. Why should this be so? A couple can be perfectly happy in marriage and yet find someone else to be their soul mates. This would have been a much more difficult situation. His second mistake was to give both protagonists Dev, and Maya a weakness, or insecurity. This is the basis of their relationship and is totally flawed to begin with. Why could they have not been normal people who find interesting things in each other rather than comfort for their insecurities? Karan's third mistake was one that all Indian directors seem to make and I am beginning to believe is probably part of Indian upbringing now. People only listen to their elders on their death bed. On Samarjit's (Rishi's dad) last wish, Maya and Dev confront their partners and tell them the truth. But after being kicked out, they lie to each other, hoping to gain some sympathy with the audience for being nice. Unfortunately letting 3 years pass till you are accidentally reunited is not true love, or soul mate material, so oops, missed again.

There were other characters and plot lines, something about a child kidnapping Black Beast, a friendly tie-up between the Hugh Hefner with Indian morals Samarjit (Sam) and Kamaljit (Dev's mom) and a really weak link between Rhea and her boss at the magazine, but none of them developed into much. Apparently resolving the marital issue is more important than catching a child kidnapper.

The acting.

Shah Rukh (Dev) is the worst. His list of expressions is reducing from movie to movie and he is better off playing roles with very little facial expression needed like Swades. Preity Zinta (Rhea) had no role so no scope for acting. She looked good yes, but if that’s all that was required of the role, then someone like Malika would have been enough. Rani Mukherjee (Maya) was all gloss and at a loss for any kind of emotion. Maybe the make up was too constricting and all too obvious with the fake tears literally rolling effortlessly down her cheeks. A below par performance for a critically acclaimed actress. Abhishek (Rishi) was the saving grace. He is maturing into a fine actor. Granted his character was also the most real of the entire cast, but he managed to use that to his advantage and got the audience, me, to feel sorry for him. Amitabh, the playboy, should retire, his wrinkles just too scary for big screen. Kiron Kher was ok. Arjun Rampal, Kajol, John Abraham and Saira Mohan were wasted. So a big plus for Bachchan Junior and huge negative for everyone else.

The Cinematography and music

Too repetitive. I got bored of seeing the NY skyline, something I never thought was possible. Columbia University and the station were overused. If this was really a story about relationships it might as well have been shot in Fursatganj. Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy under deliver. Gone are the days of Dil Chahta Hai or even Bunty Aur Babli.

In General

The first half deserves a 1 star rating while the second probably a 2. One other thing, I was uncomfortable with is the film rating. It was a U/A. I saw lots of kids in the theatre and am not sure how this movie got a U rating. Is it okay for kids to know about kinky sex these days? Omkara got an A rating and I would rather kids see that than this. Maybe that was his biggest mistake – making this movie suitable for everyone and not concentrating on the adult audience.

Definitely not worth spending money on this one.